2013Posted: January 1, 2013
Well hello there. Happy New Year! And I am happy, surprisingly. Very happy. I hope you are too.
I didn’t go anywhere or do anything more exciting than have Torte Au Chocolat, drink a bit of pink bubbly with people I love and watch other rather tipsy people light themselves on fire. The latter being a perk of living upstairs and having a good view of the street. One party-goer did his best to blow up our car but didn’t quite make it. Thankfully he still has all his limbs and we still have our car but it wasn’t for lack of trying.
Word of advice: the next time you’re at a celebration that involves fireworks, you know that guy who’s so drunk he’s slobbering and can barely stand? Make the world a safer place and steal that dude’s lighter. Then when he finally passes out, duct tape his pants to the floor*, slap a wig on him and Sharpie ‘Bubba’s B***h’ on his forehead**. Then take lots and lots of pics to post on Facebook.
*Preferably on his side so he doesn’t choke on anything disgusting.
**’I ❤ Sheep’ also works.
That’s all I have to say because tomorrow the world starts again and I have to be there early. So til later, be good and hug someone you love.